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The Philosopher


We Got Trouble, Trouble, Trouble, Right Here in the USA, It Starts With “H” and that Stands for Hysterectomies.

July 13, 2013

The Top Gun National Crises Troubleshooter, Retired

This Post builds on an earlier Post about “Single Mothers Raising a Son” and “The Sandy Hooke Massacre”.  The impetus of this unfortunate event may well be a Hysterectomy.  The information for this Post comes from a very painful firsthand experience with this phenomenon, but I think it is worth putting out into the world for others opinions and support.   

This author believes the very breakup of his family started with a Hysterectomy.  The performing Surgeon warned us before the operation that a number of women end up divorced after having this operation.  We did not think divorce was an issue that we needed to be concerned.   On return from the hospital, after the surgery, the wife developed a new personality, the personality of an aggressive verbal abuser.  Since this author was the only financial support of this family of four plus a dog, this author felt that there needed to be some space between this abuse and his brain.  Further steps were taken by the author to address this issue; unfortunately the wife disagreed with these actions and filed for divorce.  Upon appearance in court before the Judge, this author stated that “I don’t think divorce is the best thing to happen to our family”.  The Judge replied “In this state if she wants a divorce, she gets a divorce”.  The rest of the story is a degradation of any relationship with the now ex-wife over several years starting with two very young children under ten years of age.

The results after more than thirty years, is that the ex-wife could not reconnect with another human being, assuming the difficulty being her “aggressive verbal abuse “behavior. Thus our Son became her significant-other person in this world.  It became a struggle for this author to maintain a relationship with his son, since the Father could do no right and didn’t have anything to say worth listening to.  After about thirty years of this strain and the Son finally finding a girlfriend, the son broke-off relations with this author after this author disclosed some of the truth that was withheld, about his mother. 

When we were still a family, there was a young man in his thirties living across the street with his mother, my then wife kept trying to line him up with a lady friend, but to no avail.  In retrospect, this author thinks that this then young man had become the significant-other of his mother. 

When our son was ten years old his mother bought him a small caliber rifle.  This author now believes that his mother was attempting to gain her sons approval, instead of raising our son; she was developing a significant-other relationship with our son.  Looking at recent events in national news, this behavior seems very similar to the mother of the boy in the Sandy Hooke Massacre.  Was this extreme behavior the only way the Sandy Hooke boy could get out of this relationship with his mother?  I think this question deserves further study by those with more information than this author has at his disposal.

Surly there is someone with access to medical records and court records that can plot a time line between a woman having a hysterectomy and showing up in Family Court in a divorce case.  Are there some sociologists, out there, who can investigate the phenomenon of a son becoming the significant-other of their mother?  Can this significant-other relationship be determined as child abuse?  Can this relationship interfere with the boy’s relationship with the boy’s father?  Can this significant-other relationship be contributing to extreme behavior to escape from a mother-son, significant–other relationship like the Sandy Hooke Massacre?  What role does the courts play in this mother-son significant-other relationship, are the Courts granting sole custody to the mother, shared custody with the son, or full custody to the father?

Certainly there is a Grad Student or Post Doc. that needs a research topic in Social Science or perhaps a government agency may have jurisdiction for such a research project or can fund a project to investigate the phenomenon of a “Mother-Son Significant-Other Relationship and Extreme Behavior”.